Harry Potter and Ghost of the Past
by El Timo
Summary: AU where Harry goes back to Hogwarts for a final year. And Ghosts of not only his but others past must be confronted. Tried to keep it Canon, reviews are always welcome.


Authors notes; I'm back... Wow it's been a long time... Anyway, other than the one more year premise i tried to keep this as canon as possible. Not your cup of tea turn back now as i intend to keep it as canon as possible. So canon Pairings and all the peoples are dead for good. Sorry. Also the asterisks (these *) denote author notes that should not be read until you're done with the chapter.

Chapter One

Two Months Later

It had been three months since the Battle of Hogwarts, as it was now known. A battle of heroism, legend and to those who lived through it, loss. Harry was preparing, as he was so used to now, for his final year at Hogwarts.

He was a bit surprised when after, the celebrations feasts ceremonies and finally coming clean about what had happened during that crazy year and what he had been doing, he had finally approached Kingsley Shacklebolt to ask about becoming an Auror. Shacklebolt, who had been elevated to permanent Minister Of Magic and was overseeing Auror office affairs until Thicknesse had recovered or a new head could be found, was quite firm. Harry was not able to become an Auror without full Education and high scores on his N.E.W.T.S.

Several voices had been raised in protest, McGonagall, Slughorn, all of the Weasleys, and several other notable wizards. But Shacklebolt had denied all attempts to get him to reconsider. 7 years of education and at least E (or equivalent) on all subjects deemed necessary by the Auror Office. Ron and Hermione had also decided to return to school. Not because of Harry in both cases.

Hermione had wanted to return, she enjoyed school and excelled in most subjects, plus her lack of self-confidence had convinced her that a she _needed_ another year to be successful in the wizarding world.

Ron had not been given a choice. Mrs. Weasley had said, "Finish your education or find a new place to live." Ron had no money and no place to stay. Harry had offered to let him stay at number 12 Grimmauld Place, but Ron had declined ("Half a year of just me and Kreacher? No thanks.")

So he packed his trunk. He had gathered all his stuff from his various previous residences. He had not enjoyed returning to the Dursley house to collect his old belongings from his room. Although he had been assured that the Dursley's would be returned to their home now that there was no longer a threat from Voldemort. He had been grateful though they had not yet returned, and was allowed to collect his books and other things he had left behind in peace. He had visited the Weasley's house to collect a few things he had left after his sudden departure a year before. Now he sat in number 12 Grimmauld packing.

He still had trouble thinking of this place as his house, although with Kreacher had cleaned the place, and he had done some redecorating in the sitting room and the Black's master bedroom to make it more to his liking, passing Sirius's old bedroom everyday still sent a pang of loss through him. As did passing Regulus's, thinking about the locket, and the loss of Dumbledore getting it. Kreacher had been most displeased with the new decoration to "My Mistress Black's room!" Harry had had to tie him up while he did it. The dark room of black and silver was gone. Gold and Red had replaced it, a few more lights and the curtains had been pulled back to allow light into the room. Harry had enjoyed the dark wood furniture and packed it with his own things.

Changing decor had helped, but not much. And even with the help of Hermione and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley they had still not found a way to remove the portrait Mistress Black in the entry way. Harry had become very adept at the spell to pull the curtains back across the portrait to shut her up.

Mrs. Weasley had offered to put Harry up over the summer. " Really, dear, we'd be happy to have you back in the house."

But Harry had declined. "Really Mrs. Weasley, it's fine. I need to do something with my inheritance. And now that Kreacher isn't so nasty I'll be fine. I make sure I visit often."

As normalcy resumed, one of the many things Harry had to do was pass is apparition test. His practice doing it all over Britain had helped. He ended up passing with flying colors because the tester was quite a bit too starstruck to notice that Harry had missed his mark by a good 20 meters. However he had been working on it and could apparate quite precisely now. He had been able to keep his promise to Mrs. Weasley and had visited the burrow a few times.*

He still had not really talked to Ginny though. The few times he had he had been listless and cold. He hoped she understood for now. His endless work on Sirius's – _his_ – house and other things that occupied great amounts of his time, had been about keeping his mind occupied.

He very much didn't want to think about the battle or the losses sustained. The losses _he _sustained. Lupin and Tonks, parents who would never know their child. Fred half of an unbreakable pair. Creevey killed before he had even started. Countless others.

All because of him. The Orphans he'd created, the children he'd taken away. Had he just found the Diadem faster. Had he just given himself before the battle. Two months just thinking of all the things he should have done. All the things he didn't do. All the things he did. Doubt, fear, guilt. The worst part was no one blamed him. Parents who had lost children thanking him for his bravery, Children looking up to him now that their siblings were gone. Harry hated himself, because they wouldn't.

Ginny was too good for him. He was responsible for her brother's death after all.

Harry looked over his supply list again. Marking things he needed to buy in Diagon Alley. He was finishing up and closing his trunk when Kreacher walked in, "Master, Mr. Weasley and Mrs. Ganger are here."

Harry looked puzzled and answered, "Uh, okay. Thanks, Kreacher." "Should I prepare refreshments for our guests?"

"Uh, yeah go ahead and do that," Harry had not been expecting Ron and Hermione. He said he'd said he see them at the Burrow tomorrow before heading to Diagon Alley.

He glanced out his Window, and saw someone gazing at the space between number eleven and number thirteen Grimmauld place. Harry wonder who he was. Obviously only a wizard would know that there even was a house there. Harry had not told anyone outside of the Weasley's and Hermione that he was staying here. Maybe Ron and Hermione would know it was.

He headed downstairs to the sitting room where Ron and Hermione were waiting. "What's up? I said I'd be by tomorrow," Harry said taking a seat.

"Harry we wanted to talk to you when you didn't have anything else on your plate to run off to," Hermione started sitting in one the comfortable arm chairs.

"We wanted to know why you've been avoiding everyone," Ron stated boldly.

"I haven't been-" Harry began, but Hermione cut him off.

"You have. Whenever you visit the Burrow, you always have something else to do and run off to almost as soon as you arrive. And you're closed off and distant, and the moment anyone brings up what happened two months ago, you make excuses and leave."

"We are all hurting, but instead of dealing with it you've just shut yourself up in here mate," Ron stood in the corner arms crossed.

Harry rose up, " I'm not shutting myself in here! And I'm not avoiding anyone. Maybe I'm not proud what happened two months ago." Harry bristled.

"You aren't proud of bringing down the evil wizard of all time?" Ron shot back.

"That's not what I meant and you know it."

"That's what it sounded like."

"Well it isn't what I meant," Harry was getting angry. They had cornered here him here like this, maybe he didn't want to talk about it. Maybe he didn't want remind himself of all the people that had died for him. Because of him.

Hermione looked at him concerned, "we don't blame you. You that right? No one blames you.""Well they should!" Harry nearly shouted.

"Is that it?" Ron said quietly. "Is that why you're hiding here? Is that why – don't try to deny it – is that why you won't talk to anyone? Because you believe it's all your fault?" Ron stared daggers at Harry. "You think you're the reason I don't have a brother anymore? Why those kids don't have a parents?" Ron turned away. "What a self-centered egotistical-"

Hermione looked from Ron to Harry concerned. "Is that really it Harry? You blame yourself for all those people?"

"Of course I do!" Harry retorted. "It is my fault! If I had found the Diadem faster. If I had gone and fought instead of running all over the castle. If I had turned myself over to Voldemort. Maybe they wouldn't have..." Harry couldn't finish the sentence.

Hermione looked at him, " They wouldn't have what Harry?"

"They wouldn't have had to fight, of course," said Ron. His sarcasm was acidic. "They wouldn't have died, brave famous Harry Potter would have defeated all the Death Eaters single handed."

"I didn't say that," Harry retorted.

"Again that's what it sounded like. Are you even listening to yourself? You think if you had turned yourself over before we started fighting we'd still be talking about it? Voldemort was out for blood Harry. And not just yours," Ron pointed at Harry. "He would have marched into that school and killed whoever he wanted just for not turning you over. He'd still be in control of the Ministry, The diadem would've been moved and we would've been back to square one!

"Don't you get it? Everything went down the way it had to. If you had turned yourself over you never would've learned about Snape's memories, Dumbledore's plan. You never would've be able to open the snitch. No one would have had your protection."

Harry stared at Ron for a moment taken aback by the passion of his words. Hermione looked back and forth between the two.

"You don't understand." Harry said turning away. He began walking back upstairs.

"You coward," Harry stopped, frozen in place. He turned and looked back. Hermione was standing, next to Ron staring at Harry. "After all we did together, that's how you're going to end this? You're going to run away, lock yourself up and never talk to anyone again?" Hermione seemed just as angry as Ron. "After all that time in the woods I thought I knew you, apparently not. You had a course and you stuck to it. Now you're free to live your own life for the first time and your choice is to curl up into a ball in a big empty house, shut everyone out and feel sorry for yourself? Some people thought you were better braver and stronger than that. I thought you were stronger than that. Fred and all the others died fighting Voldemort, not for you but for the freedom of all wizards and witches and elves and muggles.** Not for you and certainly not because of you. For once, it isn't and wasn't about you Harry."

Harry was taken aback again. They knew him too well. Knew what he was doing and why. He lowered his head. He was being stupid.

"We'll see you tomorrow." Hermione finished sharply. "And you aren't the only one who needs to go shopping. C'mon Ron." They went out the front door and before Harry could stop them disapparated with twin pops.

Harry felt lost. He sat in the sitting room for a long time thinking over their words. He barely noticed when Kreacher came in and left a tray with tea and some crisps. He eventually dragged himself upstairs and into his bed. The feelings he had been hiding or not accepting he actually felt came pouring out. He wept into his pillow, the truths he had been denying that Ron and Hermione had shouted at him echoing in his ears.

His fell asleep with tears in his eyes.

* I apologize for the upcoming tonal shift. it was written on different days in different moods.

** humorous aside; As I am a huge fan of Warhammer 40K, it was very hard not to write They died FOR DA EMPRARAH!


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